F***et List

We hear people talk about their bucket list, but what about their fucket list. I’m sure we all have this type of list as we attempt tasks and fail. Fucket always seems to slip out when the best laid plans or intentions melt over time or immediately. Like when we try to please someone and they don’t or can’t notice the effort. Or those goals we make at the beginning of the year that we abandon by the end. I have a few things that would go on my Fucket list. Of course, I’m using the pronoun “we” because… well, my husband and I do everything together. Plus, he gave me a few to add to the list.

1. Bike ride: Watching what we eat and drink, and on our bikes, pass by a few places to relax. Fucket. We’re hot, sweaty, and thirsty as hell. A beer is definitely what we need.

2. Swimming: Go to the local swimming pool only to find out I forgot the bottoms to my swimsuit. Fucket. I wanted ice cream anyways.

3. Scotland: Heading home in a snowstorm and the airport closes. Fucket. Rent a car, drive 450 miles to a London airport, and arrive at the gate just in time to hear the announcement that they canceled that flight too. Fucket. Miss two days of work.

4. Clogged Toilet: Husband disappears into a washroom in an Irish pub in Bologna. He comes out, grabs my arm, and pulls me out the door to avoid the flood. Fucket. Toilets get clogged all the time.

5. Drive: Drive 250 miles to visit Zurich, Switzerland. Instant dislike. Fucket. Drive another 200 miles through the Swiss Alps. Nothing like a leisurely drive.

6. Walk: Go to hike around the Cinque Terra, Italy. Due to mudslides, all paths are closed. Fucket. Train rides are so much more relaxing than climbing mountain paths.

7. Waterfalls: Enjoy a lovely hike down the Feldberg in Germany and come across a waterfall. Decide to cross the stream by stepping on the rocks so my husband can take an awesome picture. Foot slips on a rock and down I go, soaked from head to foot. Fucket. I was hot anyways.

8. Chinese: Try a nice Chinese buffet. Start with the salad bar, and within 5 minutes, spend the rest of the time in the washroom. Body tries to purge the food poisoning—diarrhea. Fucket. It was about time for me to get a colon cleansing.

9. Car: Car doesn’t pass the mandatory safety test. All Christmas money goes into repairs. Fucket. Who needs Christmas presents? Our love is gift enough.

10. Vacation: Stay at in-laws in Spain for summer vacation. Doesn’t go as well as planned. Leave early and spend all of my birthday driving in the car. Fucket. We got to see the real Lake Geneva, and I ate a pizza on some public building’s steps in the town of Colmar, France.

Do you care to share your fucket list?

Lists and Life,
Baer Necessities

8 thoughts on “F***et List

  1. That was definitely my favorite blog post. Laughed out loud. Thanks – we can all definitely relate!

  2. Hahaha indeed! Lots of good chuckles out of this one, especially the bit about Scotland and missing the London flight. The one too about car repairs and Christmas made me smile too. Each instance on the list has the makings of a great personal essay/travel story. Surprised to hear you disliked Zurich. It wasn’t my favorite either, but I fell in love with the Swiss countryside.

  3. Jeri, At the time, the Scotland/London situation was stressful. When we rented the car, my husband asked if I brought my license. I told him what difference would it make. Unless he wanted me to try for the first time driving on the other side of the car, on the other side of the road, while trying to figure out a manual car in a snowstorm, it was basically up to him to get us there. As for Zurich, I guess we are more the small town people with the mountains. Zurich is a congested city. But in all fairness, we never got out of the car. We just headed for the Alps.

  4. I love these. The wife and I are particularly fond of the biking one. That’s all we did when we visited her brother in Cali a few months ago. Rent a bike, travel all over the boardwalk, work up a thirst, then pound back a few beers. Those never taste better after a good biking. Then, after that, bike home while buzzed. It was a blast.

  5. ABFTS, Biking is fun to get around a city. They have those kiosk bike places in some European cities. If it wasn’t raining in Lithuania, we would have rented them for a few hours. I hope you were biking along Venice Beach and not San Fran. 😀

  6. I still haven’t got my head fully around the concept of a ‘bucket list’. Particularly these ‘summer bucket lists’ that I see everywhere in the blogosphere at the moment. I mean, who in their right mind wants to do a few nice things during the school holidays then drop dead a few days later…?

    I think the old fashioned “Things to do before you die list” was a much nicer concept.

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